I Hate the Word Nose Job

I do. It sounds so weird to me. But, that's what I had done. I've always been insecure about my nose. I can remember being in 6th grade and hating it. When I would go to a movie I would put my hand up by the side of my face and rest it there so nobody would see my profile. Around February of this year I decided I really wanted to get my nose fixed. I went and met with a surgeon and that was all it took. I knew I was going to do it and I wanted it done literally the next day. I told a few of my close friends and family that I was having it done and it was a good mix of positive and negative answers. They would say, "What if you don't like it? What if something goes wrong?" My only thought was that if I didn't do it I would always wonder what my nose could've looked like. If it turned out ugly, oh well, I already hated the way it looked. My mom was awesome. She left the decision up to me and never told me not to do it, that it was too expensive, or anything negative. I love her for that (and many other reasons, obviously). My dad wasn't the happiest about it. What father is happy with their daughter choosing to go under the knife to change her face? He didn't believe I was going to do it until the morning of. Surprise! It really is happening.

Scheduling my surgery date was tricky. I wanted it done as soon as possible but I was in school and working part time. I decided to do it a week before spring break. I missed an entire week of school and work. Then had the whole week of spring break to continue to heal. People told me a lot of horror stories about plastic surgery...why do they even call it that? One of my teachers told me not to do it. She said her sister had done it and it was complete hell. I nodded along with her stories and told her I'd think about backing out. But I lied. There was nothing to think about. I had done my research and watched many YouTube videos from other people who had had Rhinoplasty (correct medical term). I was doing it.

March 4th was the big day. I was so excited. I had to be to the surgeon's office at 9:00am and I didn't go into surgery until after 11:00am. After filling out paper work, meeting with the surgeon, getting all my IV's, and telling the anesthesiologist some great stories about my life, I was out. The surgery took roughly 2 hours. I woke up and felt fine; a bit on the drowsy side. I could feel some pressure on my nose but that was all. When I woke up the surgeon was standing above me. Before I'd gone into surgery I had asked them to keep my phone somewhere close so I could use it when I got out. The nurses told me I wouldn't want it. When I woke up I remember saying, "I told you I'd want my phone." Good thing I had it or we wouldn't have these gems.

I feel like holding my iPhone over my face was not the best idea for my newly reconstructed nose.

Everyone was so worried about the healing process. I looked like I was in so much pain but I honestly can say I wasn't. I had pain killers and I think I slept for a week straight. Sleeping was a bit difficult at first. I had to sleep with my mouth open and with my head propped up. I had a splint on the top of my nose and 8 inches of gauze shoved up into my nose. My mom slept with me every night because she was worried I was going to stop breathing. Bless her. Anytime I felt any pain I would take something and away it went. This is why people gasped when they saw me. 

I don't blame them. I look extremely rough. I was SO swollen. My nose was swollen, my eyes were swollen into my head, my face was turning yellow from the light bruises I was getting, and my face was shiny and oily. But really, I felt fine. It was like a vacation because I got to relax for 2 weeks. And do what I love most, sleep. 

I had my surgery on a Monday, got my gauze pulled out of my nose on Wednesday, and got my splint off Friday. It was all very fast and the surgeon was surprised at how quickly I was healing. Every week my swelling would go down. I knew it could take up to a year to heal and now I'm 3 months short of a year! It's crazy. I'm so glad I did it. It keeps looking better and better everyday. I'm not embarrassed about my surgery. If anything, I want people to know that I had it done. I think if you aren't happy with something you should fix it. As long as it's for you and you only. Whatever will make you a happier, more confident person is worth doing. 

 If you have any questions at all don't hesitate to ask. 

xo 

This is backwards. Before is on the right, after is on the left.

 I was not planning on sharing these videos, they are crap, and I'm basically talking to myself in them. But, I wanted to share my experience with anyone reading this. Again, I apologize for the bad video quality and the sound being a bit off. Anyway, here they are. 

Don't mind my wet hair. Or the fact that I'm out of it. Daphne (my sister) finds this video hilarious.

Sorry about the sound quality.

Noob status.

Thanks for reading and watching!

Don't Feed the Models

I'm so sick of looking at pictures of models. If you're anything like me so are you. They're everywhere. I've stopped following most of the Victoria's Secret models on Instagram (with the exception of Behati Prinsloo, I love her and I love her fiancé even more) because I would go to the gym, feel good, get on Instagram, see their photos, and instantly my self esteem went down 110% and I felt like I needed to go back to the gym and put down whatever I was currently eating. I used to be obsessed with models, Victoria's Secret models specifically. I wanted to look like them so badly and I was convinced that I could. I would DVR the fashion show and do my ab work out to it (which is good motivation as long as you know you most likely won't end up having the stomach of Alessandra Ambrosio). Just recently I finally realized looking like them is so unrealistic. Those models are paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to look like that. They are 5'11 and taller, they have really wonderful genetics, and their body types are way different than mine. These models are blessed with beautiful bodies and let's be honest it's not fair! But looking at pictures of them every day was not benefitting me at all. I'm 5'5, I don't have a long torso or long legs, and I don't get paid to spend 3 hours in the gym 7 days/week...that does not sound fun at all; I have too many shows to watch. I also love pizza and french fries and cookies and Cafe Rio and listing foods I shouldn't eat but do could go on for a while.

I guess my point to this post is that I try my best to eat fairly well, in moderation, and go to the gym often. Trying is all you can do. Don't let the models shoot your self esteem down. Everybody is different and has different body types. Don't long to look like these models. Try your hardest to be grateful for the body that you have. If you do want to lose weight, tone up, and become a healthier person, look up to women that have a similar body type to yours. Looking at Candice Swanepoel and wanting her body is not going to happen for most of us. Sorry.

A couple of celebrities (of course I compare my body to celebrities because I'm obsessed) I compare myself to are Julianne Hough and Selena Gomez. They both have rockin' bodies and I feel like wanting my body to look like theirs is actually realistic.

I know everything I wrote above is extremely hard to do and I'm definitely not an expert, maybe I'm writing this to convince myself of these things. But, once you do accept yourself and your body type you will be so much happier. Do what's best for you and for your body and get it to it's best not someone else's best. I haven't stopped looking at models photos cold turkey but I'm trying to not look at them as much because it doesn't make me feel good.

PS: I will most likely be tuning in to watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show tonight just like most of you will be. Let's all not feel bad about our bodies once its over.

PSS: I wish they would've caught on film Taylor Swift and Cara Delevingne swapping Harry Styles stories...that would be better than the show itself.

Have a happy Tuesday.